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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #923769] |
Wed, 02 November 2005 22:15   |
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Titanic.
this movie was stupid, some low-class pretty boy draws a picture of some naked rich chick. the make out in a car and then the ship sinks. and that was the only good part.
ill take Rambo over this one anyday...
If you figure it out, let me know |
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #924878] |
Sat, 05 November 2005 20:59 |
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Titanic was almost like a history lesson. I mean, come on! We all know that ship's going down. It sounds like "Romeo and Juliet" on a boat. Ugh.
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #936664] |
Mon, 28 November 2005 13:52 |
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Did I mention Troy when it came out?
Doesn't matter if I did. It's bad enough to be here twice.
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #936923] |
Mon, 28 November 2005 19:03 |
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GAH! You said the forbidden title... Troy *dies* They KILLED people who simple can't DIE! And allowed men who were suppose to die LIVE? Where is the justice in that... and Aeneas... he is a boy? Where is his father, son and perhaps forgotten wife?! No where! BAH! Bad movie... so inaccurate it hurt me!
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #937054] |
Mon, 28 November 2005 21:56 |
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i absolutey hated "Deep Impact"
the only part worth watching was when half the planet was flooded.
on a side note, morgan freeman does NOT make a good president. he was wonderful in Bruce Almighy, but not this movie. I'll take the President in Independince Day over him anytime...
If you figure it out, let me know |
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #937302] |
Tue, 29 November 2005 19:56 |
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http://www.sonypictures.co.uk/movies/theproducers/
true it's not out yet, but I am not worried about jumping the gun here. Firstly it's a movie based on a play that's based on a movie, second it's not directed ... or even touched by Mel Brooks and finally Will Ferrell.
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #937334] |
Tue, 29 November 2005 21:18 |
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| Dan wrote on Tue, 29 November 2005 19:56 |
http://www.sonypictures.co.uk/movies/theproducers/
true it's not out yet, but I am not worried about jumping the gun here. Firstly it's a movie based on a play that's based on a movie, second it's not directed ... or even touched by Mel Brooks and finally Will Ferrell.
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Much as I like Matthew Broderick, he can't replace Gene Wilder. What's with all the terrible remakes the last few years?
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #937383] |
Wed, 30 November 2005 01:23 |
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The new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Was it just me, or did Johnny Depp look a little TOO fruity in his role? The original was awesome, and so was the sequel to the original. The new version? Why remake something that was so good?
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #937444] |
Wed, 30 November 2005 12:50 |
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| Cece Williams wrote on Wed, 30 November 2005 02:23 |
The new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Was it just me, or did Johnny Depp look a little TOO fruity in his role?
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it's you.
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #942775] |
Thu, 08 December 2005 04:21 |
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Star Wars has a fun circle of degradation, and an irregular one, too. 1 is better than 2 (bite me,) 2 is better than 3 (again, bite me. "FOMG I R EBUL!" just doesn't match the image of the old Vader. The new one's more like Dorky Evader to me.) ... And 4 and above kick all their asses.
Anyways...
2 Fast 2 Furious. Dunno if I already mentioned it, but...
Well, the first movie to me, was a piece of dirt. After looking at it's sequel, the first movie looks like a goldmine. This one's just too stupid, the "races" aren't even half-amusing, the whole thing with the rat and the bucket was bad (poor rat, tortured to eat a fat-ass slob's stomach!  ) And the "hawt girl" was hawt... For an 80-years-old woman. 
Coming soon: 3 Fast 3 Stooges. 
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #948459] |
Tue, 13 December 2005 03:58 |
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| Dan wrote on Wed, 30 November 2005 13:50 |
| Cece Williams wrote on Wed, 30 November 2005 02:23 |
The new version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Was it just me, or did Johnny Depp look a little TOO fruity in his role?
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it's you.
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Johnny's look was supposed to be freaky in a fruity way because he was channeling Michael Jackson. He said so himself. That was why he sounded like him and looked like him.
His wardrobe (which has nothing to do with the character) was really awesome, though.
Can't watch it again, though. Too bad... But I can watch the Wilder version a million more times. Especially for the songs that STICK IN YOUR MIND.
And I also concur about the Fantastic Four. It was ridiculous and horrible in every single direction. The only thing that could have saved it was it not having been made at all.
I would like to add to the list: Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Aside from the fact that it was almost as pointless as Sahara, it was damn boring and lacked everything essential to make an entertaining film: acting, reasoning for destruction, a decent story.
D.
"Villainy wears many masks. None so dangerous as the mask of virtue" - Professor Ichabod Crane
"I'm Nny! I'm psychotic and kind of evil, but somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck finding it."
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in rain. Time ... to die." - Roy Batty
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #948465] |
Tue, 13 December 2005 04:50 |
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Yesterday, they showed The Day After Tomorrow. "There's nothing better to watch right now anyways," I told myself. Big mistake.
I mean, the whole movie can be summed up in a short leet sentence: "j00 g0t phr0z3n" and said sentence looks better and has a better way of describing what happened than the movie itself.
Oh yeah. Mr. Nobody, Mrs. Nobody and Nobody Jr all get trapped into the biggest, baddest uber-storm ever, and they all survive with little to no problems. So they rip off Twister (FOMG TORNADOS!) then rip off Deep Impact (FOMG TALL WAVES!) and then they bore you to death with one hour of nothing happening. 
I think this is yet another disaster movie that turned into a movie disaster. And this is the last time I watch a disaster movie made after the 90's. 
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #948670] |
Tue, 13 December 2005 15:44 |
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Street Fighter: the movie.
NOTHING to do with the game storyline, LAUGHABLY bad acting...how sad it was Raul Julia's last role.
Heihachi
Beats
Your
Tail
Everytime
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #948681] |
Tue, 13 December 2005 15:50 |
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Was Street Fighter re released in theaters or something? Why is everyone only NOW realising it sucked?
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #950598] |
Thu, 15 December 2005 21:14 |
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| Dan wrote on Tue, 13 December 2005 21:50 |
Was Street Fighter re released in theaters or something? Why is everyone only NOW realising it sucked?
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You said it best of all I've always said Street Fighter the movie sucked the storyline was a bad joke and the script was horrible, had nothing to do with the game storyline.
"We're not tools of the government or anyone else! Fighting was the only thing...the only thing I was good at. But at least I always fought for what I believed in..."
Grey Fox, Metal Gear Solid
J.M Ellis
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #951377] |
Fri, 16 December 2005 19:22 |
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Cinderella 2. It was 3 short stories: One about after Hapily Everafter, one about one the leader of the mice becoming human, and one where one of the wicked stepsisters isn't as wicked and is actually treated as a protagonist.
For the first, it makes me apreciate Disney fanfics more. The second, it seems JUST LIKE a Disney fanfic. The third, hey, if I wanted to feel sorry for assholes, I'd be more sympathetic to Mr. Burns, Frank Burns, and Brad Majors.
But I'm not, so I won't.
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #953192] |
Mon, 19 December 2005 01:30 |
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Cry_Wolf.
It is a movie about a murder that happened near a private high school and that some of the students wanted to play a practical joke on the entire school. They wrote an essay about that killing being part of a serial killing and that on Halloween night, he'll strike again.
The group eventually begin to realize that the killer they had invented exists and is in the school, hunting them.
Is it possible that it's only a joke on behalf of the entire group?
Toggle SpoilerYes it is.
Everyone was involved in making up the killer and the threats were from everyone onto the new guy. The new guy ended up killing a teacher thinking that he was the serial killer and everybody went to jail. Everyone except the chick who started the entinre gag: she got away with murdering the person in the woods in the beginning of the film and blame-shifting everything onto everybody else.
Yes, it was a terrible movie. It hadn't any blood or onscreen killings and it was PG-13. But the photography was nice...
D.
"Villainy wears many masks. None so dangerous as the mask of virtue" - Professor Ichabod Crane
"I'm Nny! I'm psychotic and kind of evil, but somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck finding it."
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in rain. Time ... to die." - Roy Batty
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #998759] |
Fri, 10 March 2006 12:13 |
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"Ever After: A Cinderella Story."
If I wanted to see "Cinderella," I'd buy the Disney movie, not that load of crap.
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1000618] |
Mon, 13 March 2006 21:07 |
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King Arthur.
So.. Arthur was a slave to the Romans, in 300 B.C., who became a mix between BraveHeart, Spartacus and Neo, fought the evil druid Merlin (who wasn't evil, just misunderstood, *emo emo emo,*) and married Legonevre the White on his way to... Uhm... Killing-stuff-land.
I swear, by the time archers started shooting thorny vines at Arthur's men, I was wondering if there was a new drug out there that reanimated corpses and forced them to write movie scripts. It's like they mixed Braveheart, Troy, LoTR and Gladiator, cut off all the good parts, and made a collage of lameness.
I don't know what's the best movie ever, but King Arthur just won an Oscar. Yeah, THAT kind of Oscar.
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1002773] |
Sat, 18 March 2006 21:36 |
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| Cece Williams wrote on Fri, 10 March 2006 13:13 |
"Ever After: A Cinderella Story."
If I wanted to see "Cinderella," I'd buy the Disney movie, not that load of crap.
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What was wrong with 'Ever After'?
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1002778] |
Sat, 18 March 2006 21:49 |
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Ever After, the one with Drew Barrymore? Simply the best Cinderella version I've seen. And I'm not fond of remakes/AU movies, myself.
There's way worse remakes, like that POC with J-Lo as a maid playing millionaire. What's next, Ju-on americanized? Oh wait...
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1002823] |
Sun, 19 March 2006 01:13 |
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Ever AFter was crap, pure and simple. Walt Disney's version still pwns.
Jawbreaker
I had the HORROR of seeing that late last night, and I should have gone to bed. What was the point of that movie?
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1003136] |
Mon, 20 March 2006 00:15 |
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| Quote: |
Ever AFter was crap, pure and simple. Walt Disney's version still pwns.
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You said that the first time. I was hoping for some kind of actual reasoning, but whatever. I actually don't like the Disney cartoon (some of the cat-and-mouse interludes just drag on, Cinderella's a wuss and the prince is pretty flat) so it could just boil down to preference.
I don't know what I'd consider the stupidest movie I've ever watched is, but Super Mario Bros. is up there somewhere. Somebody had to be huffing something to try passing that off as even remotely related to the games.
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1012387] |
Sun, 09 April 2006 04:57 |
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Wolf Creek.
More pointless than Sahara. Throughout the entire movie nothing happens.
It is also based on a true story but, as we all know, that line is always thrown into the garbage very early on.
It is about two English girls and an Australian boy that go road tripping through Australia to a place called Wolf Creek. It has, apparently, one of the first meteorite craters on the planet. That's it.
The car won't start, for unexplained and paranormal reasons, and a weird but kool Aussie (sp?) gives them a lift to his house so that he can change whatever parts their car needs.
Toggle SpoilerOne girls wakes up later that night gagged and tied and the wrists and ankles. She becomes free and notices that her female friend is capture as well and mentally/verbally abused by the Aussie. Nothing happens for a while and the Aussie get shot in the throat. The girls get away (never thinking of the third party member) only to be found and somehow murdered by the Aussie. One girls gets three fingers sliced off (in mid air, mind you) by a machete and then it is thrust into her spine.
The other girls gets shot twice by a sniper rifle and dies.
The guy wakes up, frees himself and lives to tell the tale.
Is it just me or was the guy missing from the entire happenings of the film? Also, between that and the beginning nothing happened.
Sucks, no?
D.
P.S.
Sorry for the length but that's the entire movie right there.
[EDIT: APRIL 13, 06]
Adding to the list, Hostel.
It is so fcuking stupid in every sense of the word. The gore is very cheesily crafted (no pun intended on Kraft™) and looks like a Fangoria movie: cheese-a-thon.
The story: what story?
The acting: what acting?
The moral: what moral?
This movie is more pointless and stupid than Wolf Creek was. Bring me a movie where nothing happens over this piece of dung, anytime.
"Villainy wears many masks. None so dangerous as the mask of virtue" - Professor Ichabod Crane
"I'm Nny! I'm psychotic and kind of evil, but somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck finding it."
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in rain. Time ... to die." - Roy Batty
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1019947] |
Mon, 01 May 2006 10:31 |
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The stupidity...it's not coming off!
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1020189] |
Tue, 02 May 2006 12:00 |
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You just found out about DOA? Takashi Miike will have a heart attack just he could role in his grave...
Adding to this list: Jet Li's The Defender. Let's just say that at one point a gun is fired so he grabs a girl and throws himself in front of her. Then she throws herself in front of him and he does the same again.
One bullet...
D.
"Villainy wears many masks. None so dangerous as the mask of virtue" - Professor Ichabod Crane
"I'm Nny! I'm psychotic and kind of evil, but somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck finding it."
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in rain. Time ... to die." - Roy Batty
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1022365] |
Tue, 09 May 2006 14:11 |
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Alone In the Dark. Yes, I know that it's Uwe Bol and yes I knew that while renting it. I simply wanted to know as to whether it was better or worse than House of the Dead.
It was much worse.
And it was utterly retarded.
D.
P.S.
In a few more weeks Bloodrayne comes out. I'm dying to see how bad that is.
Alone In the Dark had Christian Slater, Steven Dorf, and Tara Reid. Bloodrayne has Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3), Sir Ben Kingsley (Sexy Beast), and Michael Madsen (Kill Bill Vol. 2.
Big casts big flops.
[EDIT: May 18, 2006]
Watched earlier Bloodrayne. I must admit that it's utterly retarded and still not as terrible as Alone In The Dark. And somehow, House of the Dead is still a better movie.
Another honorary mention is Bram Stoker's Way of the Vampire. After 20 minutes I had found myself fast-forwarding the entire movie.
It was that bad.
Worst movie, though ever: When A Stranger Calls. That's it.
Worst movie ever.
"Villainy wears many masks. None so dangerous as the mask of virtue" - Professor Ichabod Crane
"I'm Nny! I'm psychotic and kind of evil, but somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck finding it."
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in rain. Time ... to die." - Roy Batty
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| Re: Stupidest movie ever [message #1041886] |
Mon, 19 June 2006 17:38 |
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I must say for me, the worse(stupid) movie I've seen in a while has got to be the third installment of the Lord of the Ring lot. The first one was ok, the second one much less so, but the third I thought was a sheer waste of time and money (I was dragged to the movie theatre by friends...you gotta love 'em!  ). All the time I was watching "Return of the King" I felt like I was watching some else play a video game of hack and chop those bad, meanie orks! "Off with your head, you baddie!" For each one you get, points are added to your score!
Is it only me, or does anyone else think the movie was overscored? Silence does add drama to a movie. As for some of the characters... The elves looked like they all suffered from a bad hair day (maybe they used a very cheap blonde hair dye). The orcs have a disturbingly "afro" look. I'm guessing the director must've been inspired by Bob Marlee for the orks "rasta" looking hairdo and dark skin...
Overall, I found this movie lacking in any sort of visual narrative! And the soundtrack completely overwhelmed the dialogue. In fact, the whole movie trilogy felt like a visual Coles Notes of Lord of the Rings: oversimplified, overmasticated and overblown.
Uf! I'm so glad I got that off my chest 
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) 3 Vote(s)
E-mail to friend 
)) and spend the entire movie ass-raping Sean Willam-Scott's best cinema performance to date.
Good god, Kevin Smith, why????? It was a rental, thankfully, and damaged to boot. I was actually happy when my insanely sensitive DVD player seized up near the end of the movie (right after that awful line "I hate you too you little sh*t! You and your mother stole away my life and I just want to get it back!" *crickets* Ouch. Brutal much?).
